Those who know me know I’m not a big fan of the warm and fuzzy. However, my blog post today is all about the importance of connection and relationships. With my background in HR I talk a lot of Human Capital, essentially the ability to measure return on employees. After attending a fantastic meeting this morning I started to think about the importance of Emotional Capital, which by my made up definition is the amount of the warm and fuzzy we get from others. Last night and again this morning I received that in abundance.
Sometimes life gets so busy I tend to not think about the people around me and how truly important they are to my well being. Last year I had a conversation with someone about how many friends I had and I remember replying that I had a lot of acquaintances but not really friends. The person I was talking to seemed to find that strange and asked me what my definition was of friend. I found I really didn’t have one but I just knew I didn’t have any. Their reply to me was they thought that was sad. That conversation has stuck with me all year and has replayed itself in my head almost daily as I have come to realize that I have a lot of great friends. More than most people and probably more than I deserve because the other thing I have learned is friendship is a two way street. Real friends are tough on you to make you a better person and are with you every step of the way on your journey. Friendship, like any relationship, is not easy.
I saw a quote the other day and forgive me for not remembering the author but it said “Friends are the ones who love you when you don’t love yourself” and nothing could be truer. This past year I have found so many people who love me in spite of the fact I thought of them as acquaintances rather than true friends. These people have spent the year investing in my Emotional Capital in a year when I have been bankrupt. I can’t express how lucky I am that these investors believed in me despite of my beliefs in myself.
Remember we all need an investment in our Emotional Capital. My goal for the remainder of the year is daily to thank those people who have made an investment in me with no expectation of return.
Laina
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- You Need To Work on Friendships (brighthub.com)
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Laina,
This, I enjoyed. Happy to know you are thinking about all of this. You are a great gal!
Well written, Laina. I agree that friendship is a two way street. I wrote a book proposing that love is an investment, from which we are entitled to a fair and reasonable return on investment-no more, no less. Others do not have to love you regardless of how you treat them, nor do you have to love others regardless of how they tree you. Contrary to popular opinion, love is NOT unconditional. It is a nice goal, something we can all strive to achieve, but human love does have conditions-we can earn it or unearn it. The book proves this point logically, emotionally and physically. Since you are re-evaluating your relationships this year, you might find this book of great help. You actually posted a bit about the book months ago on your blog. If you’d like to read the first two chapters of the book, visit http://www.earnitbook.com. Laina, if you would like, I’d even send you a complimentary autographed book. Enjoy your new-found appreciation for your relationships this year! “You can have more love in your life because you can deserve more love in your life when you decide to earn it.” Me
Bob,
Thank you for your post and I would be honored to have an autographed copy. I will send you an email with my address. People can take so much for granted (I know I do) and life is not easy, and relationships are certainly not easy. Life is a work in progress.
Laina