What is Chiczofrenic?

CHICZOFRENIC is my coined term for the woman who is purposeful and intentional in how crazy her life may be. I came upon this shift on a plane ride back from a conference and thought how even though I enjoyed the conference, I wasn’t as passionate as maybe I should’ve been about business. That led me to think about what I was passionate about. After much brainstorming- I realized this was it.
We need to recognize that so many of us women drive ourselves crazy, intentionally, by trying to be all we can be. I firmly believe we can have it all. A great relationship, marriage, be a great friend, a great mom, keep a good house (if that’s important to you, it’s not one of my top five), be a career woman, follow our dreams, work out, eat right, and many other things. However, somewhere while trying to accomplish all this, we can tend to go a little nuts. Some more than others, and some longer than others. I used to think I was normal. HA! What a reality check I’ve had. Normal is relative. I’m sure Howard Hughes and Andy Warhol thought they were normal.
Know it’s ok to feel overwhelmed with all you have to do to have it all. Life isn’t easy. However, we all deserve to have what we want. Women seem to have the knack of how to manage it all and not go too crazy. Women seem to always take on more and more…and dammit, we’re successful at it.
Being a woman is difficult and a constant evolution of self-discovery. It’s not an easy journey and through the process you realize every woman has her own issues, her own brand of crazy, which is my favorite kind of normal. Crazy is fine. Embrace it.
Women have tried forever to pretend they fit in the norm even when the norm wasn’t what they wanted. I want women to embrace what it is they truly want – without caring what anyone thinks. Learn to laugh at your own craziness and be cool at the same time. Be the strong individuals we all want to be while looking like a million bucks.

Laina

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Balancing it all

In the world of business, work/life balance is a buzz word. It seems so simple. Like it’s just a balance of two simple things. Work and life encompass so many different facets of your life and what you have to be to yourself and to others. It’s not a wonder most of the women I know are always in pursuit of this elusive work/life balance because it’s so freakin’ hard to find, if it even exists. I believe you can have a good work/life relationship but sometimes the balance part throws me. Though it’s just a word so maybe I’m being too literal. When a woman has a full plate what often happens is we let go of what we should do for ourselves to stay mentally, physically, and emotionally fit. Why? Because we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves first. We’re supposed to be the caregiver and put everyone else’s needs first, but we must make ourselves a priority and not feel guilty about it and still get everything done. My ex used to say “If mommy’s not happy no one’s happy” and it’s true. If we can’t be the best version of ourselves how can we take good care of others?

By definition, balance would be a division of some proportion that makes up a whole. When I talk about this in seminars I get asked a lot if work/life balance needs to actually be a fifty-fifty proposition. I say no. I mean how many things in life get split evenly? Life isn’t a teeter-totter. It’s more about where we each feel comfortable with where we spend our time. Most of us may not have much of a problem with that aspect as a standalone concept, but where we can run into trouble is comparing ourselves to others. How your neighbor spends her time is not how you should measure how to spend your time. Everyone is different and you don’t want to constantly compare yourself to someone else or measure your ability to balance, or how you balance, on how someone else does. You are your own person. You’re not that other person. I struggle with balance, mainly because I’m greedy, and I want to do it all. I try to figure out how I can do it all, but there are only so many hours in a day. Life is too short, and I have so many things I want to accomplish before I’m dead that I don’t want to let any opportunity pass me by. It can make the frantic pace worth it but can also make you question your sanity sometimes and with that your mental, emotional, and physical health.

You are important! Remember that and show it.

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Who doesn’t love Elvis

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I am sitting by the pool at the Aria in Las Vegas writing this post. The Aria has the Cirque de Soliel Elvis show so they have a lot of Elvis related props around the hotel like the photo in this post.

I grew up on Elvis music as my mother, like many of her generation, worshipped him. When I was younger I of course viewed this with disdain but as I grew older I came to appreciate, and enjoy, his music. I also came to understand how my mother, and millions of other women, went crazy for Elvis.

Music is so meaningful. While we might not like the same music our neighbor likes I think we can appreciate the talent and hard work that goes into all music.

Have a great day!
Laina

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Hello 40 and 1 day

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Just kidding!!!!!! I am not going to subject you to a daily chronicling of my life at 40. Although it might not be a half bad idea. I could journal every day and after a year be able to reflect on all that has happened. I’m just not sure my life, even at 40, is interesting enough on a daily basis for people to want to read about.

Have a great weekend!

Laina

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Hello 40

Get Stilettos & Scoundrels for Kindle 2.99

I am happy to announce my 40′s have thus far be FABULOUS! Ok, I admit I have only been 40 for half the day but it’s sure off to a good start. Good friends, good food, and good drinks made last nights celebration a blast and I am truly grateful for the amazing people in my life. I think about all the things I still want to accomplish and all the goals I have. Getting older does make you realize how fast time goes and you need to live in the moment and enjoy all it has to offer.

Laina

 

 

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Good-bye 30′s

At 11:59pm Thursday June 16th, I will say good-bye to my 30′s and will embrace everything my 40′s has to offer. When I was in my 20′s I could have never imagined how life would just continue to be exciting and new and of course difficult. You think when you’re young you will figure things out and it will become easier. It does in some ways, not in others.

The last few years of my 30′s were rough for many reasons but as they draw to a close I am grateful for all I have learned and experienced and I am thrilled to start a new decade and what I know will be the best chapter of my life so far!

While I may joke that 40 is the new 30 I’m glad it’s not for I am more fabulous than I could have ever hoped for with each year that passes.

Ladies embrace your age and the absolute amazing woman you are. I know I am!

Laina
Proud to be 40 and fabulous!!!!!

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Conversation with my daughter

This morning I asked my daughter what we should get her dad for Fathers Day. Our conversation went like this.

Me: What should we get your dad for Fathers Day?

Syd: How about something from Target.

Me: Ok. What from Target do you think he would like?

Syd: Do you think they still have the Hello Kitty lipgloss on a string that light up?

Me: I’m sure they do.

Syd: I think he would like one of those. And could you get me one too so we can match?

Kids!
Laina

(I wrote and posted this from my phone to try a new app. I apologize if any formatting is weird)

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I hate to compromise

“Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions.”
Samuel Johnson

I am very much a person who doesn’t like compromise, which I blame on the fact I’m an only child. I guess that means I can blame my parents. I don’t like to apologize or ever admit I’m wrong. I like to say it’s because being wrong happens so infrequently but then if I said that I would sound conceited (please know I’m kidding). I just like things my way. However, one thing I’ve learned is life can be much better when you can compromise. I know that to be true in theory even if I don’t always do it in practice. Even if you think your way, your idea, is much better. It doesn’t always have to be your way. A compromise isn’t giving in or giving away your perceived power, as I used to think of it. Really, it can be the opposite. If you compromise, then that person will be more willing to compromise in the future, or they should hopefully. It’s the whole pick your battles thing, it’s not always worth fighting over. But in a pure form, without ulterior motives, compromising just shows you recognize the other persons value, their contribution. Just don’t make the mistake of compromising your personal values and ethics. Because from that can be a hard recovery.
Good compromise can come from good communication and good communication isn’t always easy. In fact, poor communication can often be a big issue in any relationship personal or professional. I have pretty good business communication skills and really poor personal communication skills, which may seem strange except for the fact I’m confident business wise and not as much with my personal emotions. I’ve never liked to talk about things that require a less than clinical, businesslike approach. I often prepare an agenda when discussing sensitive, personal information so I can keep my thoughts objective. I’ve never been a touchy, feely person for the most part, so I ignore my emotions rather than talk about them. I’m usually “fine” and if you ask too many questions, I go to what my ex calls the apple pie method. That’s when someone asks “How do you really feel?” to which you respond, “This is good pie” or whatever you might have in front of you at the time. You distract, change the subject and hope they forget that they asked you a question. Unfortunately, once people get to know you they figure it out and you can’t always escape and let’s face it, you have to talk about things that bother you or that are an issue or it will never get solved. You can’t be successful in a personal relationship without communication that is calm and rational. Not easy when personal communication has so much emotion in it. I’m not saying you can never have a heated conversation. Sometimes that can get out a lot of emotion as long as it doesn’t go too far.

Excerpt from the book……Chiczofrenic – crazy is an art form

Check out chiczofrenic.com

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Interview with Tracy Bull

Tracy’s debut novel, fragments, was just released. Read more about this new author in the interview below.

Thank you for this interview, Tracy. Can you tell us a little about yourself and how long you’ve been writing?

A: Let’s see. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty typical thirty-something. I enjoy spending time with my family, watching football and coming up with new recipes in the kitchen. I’ve been writing since I was very young. I remember my Mom used to give me a topic and I’d write a short story about it. It was the same with drawing. She’d draw a squiggly line on a piece of paper and I’d turn it into a picture. My Dad also inspired me. When we were younger, he was always making up stories. Although I’ve started several novels, “fragments” is the first one to be completed and published.

Can you tell us briefly what your book is about?

A: The book follows the life of the main character, Jess Harper, through a series of journal entries. Jess suffers from clinical depression, and the reader witnesses, firsthand, the inner demons a person with depression battles on a daily basis.

Who is your intended audience? Have you been able to crossover into other audiences as well?

A: My intention with this novel is to reach individuals who struggle with depression, as well as individuals who have a loved one suffering with the disease. My hope is that it will reach a large scale audience, and that society as a whole will get a better understanding of how someone with depression lives day-to-day. If you do not suffer from the disease, it’s virtually impossible to understand why someone could be sad for no reason, all the time. It’s not always a matter of popping a pill and, voila, that person is happy! It’s much more complicated. By reading this book and getting a better understanding of what might be going on in another person’s head, I hope that we as a society can be a bit kinder to one another. It doesn’t take much effort to smile at a stranger, or at the very least, not to be cruel. And that smile just might make a difference for someone.

Why did you choose your particular genre?

A: I chose this topic because I, myself, have suffered with depression.

Do you ever experience self-doubts with your work?

A: All the time! I’ve read through “fragments” a hundred times, and each time I have that panic of “Does this suck? Yes, this sucks. People are going to hate this.”

Where do you write? Do you have a favorite place?

A: I have twin toddlers, so it’s impossible for me to write at home. I will usually jot down ideas and then a few times a year, I get a cheap hotel room in order to get some real writing done.

What kind of research did you have to do during the writing process?

A: I didn’t really have to do research for this particular project. A lot of the content is based on my own experiences. Other parts are completely made up.

Who is your publisher and how did you get accepted by them? Did you pitch your book yourself or go through an agent?

A: My publisher is Dr. Laina Turner-Molaski with Five Seas Ink. I got lucky in the fact that Laina is a good friend of a friend, so I was able to have her read it without going through an agent. Lucky for me, she enjoyed it and has faith in the project!

How are you promoting your book thus far?

A: I have a new website, www.tracy-bull.com. I’m also using Facebook and Twitter. My publisher, who is also an established author, is simultaneously releasing a book entitled “The MS Project”. The two of us are going to be doing several walks to benefit MS awareness. We will be promoting both books during these events. Laina also has a number of other trips, a fashion show, etc. where she and I will be promoting. You can check out her website at www.lainaturner.com.

If you could give one book promotion tip to new authors, what would that be?

A: Well, I’m pretty new to this, but my advice (and what I plan to do) is to get it out there as much as possible and work your butt off! We are lucky to have the vast array of social networks at our disposal.

What’s next for you?

A: For now, I want to soak in as much of this experience as possible. But, whether “fragments” is a big hit, or a big miss, I plan to continue writing. I have a solid idea for my next novel. At some point, I’d also like to try my hand at writing a screenplay.

Thank you for this interview, Tracy.

 

You can purchase a copy of fragments here

 

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fragments by Tracy Bull

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

 

Five Seas Ink

www.fiveseasink.com

laina@lainaturner.com

 

 

Five Seas Ink announces new book

Indianapolis, IN – Indianapolis publishing company, Five Seas Ink, announces the release of “fragments” a fiction novel by breakout author Tracy Bull.  In the book, scheduled for release on March 14th, 2011, the reader is introduced to a main character who struggles with depression and tells a poignant tale through her journaling of her inner anguish.

 

“I am thrilled to see this labor of love in print, says Tracy.”

 

fragments is available on Amazon or here.

 

About Tracy Bull:

Tracy Bull is a wife, mother and lover of anything related to football.  She enjoys spending her free time playing hide-and-seek with her kids, watching the big game or just relaxing with a good book.  Tracy currently lives in Indiana, but is a native of St. Louis, Missouri.

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