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“Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions.”
Samuel Johnson
I am very much a person who doesn’t like compromise, which I blame on the fact I’m an only child. I guess that means I can blame my parents. I don’t like to apologize or ever admit I’m wrong. I like to say it’s because being wrong happens so infrequently but then if I said that I would sound conceited (please know I’m kidding). I just like things my way. However, one thing I’ve learned is life can be much better when you can compromise. I know that to be true in theory even if I don’t always do it in practice. Even if you think your way, your idea, is much better. It doesn’t always have to be your way. A compromise isn’t giving in or giving away your perceived power, as I used to think of it. Really, it can be the opposite. If you compromise, then that person will be more willing to compromise in the future, or they should hopefully. It’s the whole pick your battles thing, it’s not always worth fighting over. But in a pure form, without ulterior motives, compromising just shows you recognize the other persons value, their contribution. Just don’t make the mistake of compromising your personal values and ethics. Because from that can be a hard recovery.
Good compromise can come from good communication and good communication isn’t always easy. In fact, poor communication can often be a big issue in any relationship personal or professional. I have pretty good business communication skills and really poor personal communication skills, which may seem strange except for the fact I’m confident business wise and not as much with my personal emotions. I’ve never liked to talk about things that require a less than clinical, businesslike approach. I often prepare an agenda when discussing sensitive, personal information so I can keep my thoughts objective. I’ve never been a touchy, feely person for the most part, so I ignore my emotions rather than talk about them. I’m usually “fine” and if you ask too many questions, I go to what my ex calls the apple pie method. That’s when someone asks “How do you really feel?” to which you respond, “This is good pie” or whatever you might have in front of you at the time. You distract, change the subject and hope they forget that they asked you a question. Unfortunately, once people get to know you they figure it out and you can’t always escape and let’s face it, you have to talk about things that bother you or that are an issue or it will never get solved. You can’t be successful in a personal relationship without communication that is calm and rational. Not easy when personal communication has so much emotion in it. I’m not saying you can never have a heated conversation. Sometimes that can get out a lot of emotion as long as it doesn’t go too far.
Laina
