Those who know me know I’m not a big fan of the warm and fuzzy. However, my blog post today is all about the importance of connection and relationships. With my background in HR I talk a lot of Human Capital, essentially the ability to measure return on employees. After attending a fantastic meeting this morning I started to think about the importance of Emotional Capital, which by my made up definition is the amount of the warm and fuzzy we get from others. Last night and again this morning I received that in abundance.
Sometimes life gets so busy I tend to not think about the people around me and how truly important they are to my well being. Last year I had a conversation with someone about how many friends I had and I remember replying that I had a lot of acquaintances but not really friends. The person I was talking to seemed to find that strange and asked me what my definition was of friend. I found I really didn’t have one but I just knew I didn’t have any. Their reply to me was they thought that was sad. That conversation has stuck with me all year and has replayed itself in my head almost daily as I have come to realize that I have a lot of great friends. More than most people and probably more than I deserve because the other thing I have learned is friendship is a two way street. Real friends are tough on you to make you a better person and are with you every step of the way on your journey. Friendship, like any relationship, is not easy.
I saw a quote the other day and forgive me for not remembering the author but it said “Friends are the ones who love you when you don’t love yourself” and nothing could be truer. This past year I have found so many people who love me in spite of the fact I thought of them as acquaintances rather than true friends. These people have spent the year investing in my Emotional Capital in a year when I have been bankrupt. I can’t express how lucky I am that these investors believed in me despite of my beliefs in myself.
Remember we all need an investment in our Emotional Capital. My goal for the remainder of the year is daily to thank those people who have made an investment in me with no expectation of return.

Laina

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As I am laying in bed thinking about why I can’t sleep ( thank goodness for the ability to blog from my iPhone ) I think back to all the recent times where I haven’t been able to sleep and realize most of the time it’s because I can’t let go. Whether it’s obsessing over a work issue or personal one, I seem to spend a lot of time worked up over something that I can’t change. So why do that? I have to think it’s because on some level I haven’t completely realized I can’t change the outcome or maybe it just makes me feel better to stew over it.

Letting go can be hard. When you have time and energy invested in something and you’re emotionally vested it can be hard to just get over it and move on. Especially in relationships.

Getting over a relationship is probably one of the most difficult parts of life. There is no aspect where you are more emotionally vested than in a relationship. Of any kind. As much as that letting go process can be painful it’s a necessary pain. It helps you grow and develop as a person. One needs to always be cognizant of what we are learning from this process. Again not always easy when you’re in the middle of the process but there is always a positive in any situation. At least I like to tell myself that.

I also like to think that when you finally let go another door opens. It may be different than the path you originally thought but that’s ok. Embrace it and realize when letting go you are freeing yourself to accomplish bigger and better things.

Laina

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Yesterday I was listening to the musical score from the Nutcracker Ballet and realized that because I have seen this ballet so many times over the years I was able to follow the music and know what parts of the ballet belonged to what score. It made me think. We all have our favorites. Whether it be music, a TV show, movie, or book. It’s the one or two things that you could listen to or watch over and over for years and never get tired of it. There was Trixie Belden book I read as a kid that I enjoyed so much I would read the last chapter and turn right back to the first and start reading again. I had to think what books I would do that with as an adult and came up with a few. I would love to hear your favorites.

Flowers for Algernon
Gone with the Wind – of course
North and South
Any of the Stephanie Plum books – they make me laugh

These are just to name a few.

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.
Abraham Lincoln

We all know our own head trash is our worst enemy. So why do we allow it? If only I had the answer to that one. I think that playing it safe and talking yourself out of something can be easier in some ways than biting the bullet and just working toward whatever it is you want to accomplish. It most cases there is a way to figure anything out if you just spend enough time looking at all the angles. It may not be easy or readily apparent but it is usually there. Don;t give in to your doubt. You can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Laina

This Saturday I had the pleasure of spending some time talking to Sarah McDonald. A outgoing, 25 year-old who was diagnosed with MS at the age of 18. As a former Nursing student, Sarah calls herself a natural caregiver. Instead of letting MS get her down she says her focus is not on feeling sorry for herself for having this disease but rather on being an advocate for increasing awareness for the disease and helping others. Something that is definitely needed.

Thanks Sarah!
Laina

Can you say FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!

Last week I felt I had it all figured out. I even posted yesterday about my 3 month focus and my goals. Then yesterday I was once again confronted with the reality that no one thinks I should just focus on my writing. Do I suck that bad? Even though it makes me wonder, I know it’s not really that. As my best friend said to me, it’s more about the fact that people don’t really understand why I would take my years of education and my already moderate success at consulting and trade it in for the unknown of selling fiction books and my Chiczofrenic platform. Because I want to doesn’t seem to be a satisfying response for many. Why do I even care? Probably because of my own insecurities of the writing gig. There is safety in what you know and I have a lot of student loans and a piece of paper that says I’m an expert. Why don’t I just do it all? Because I have tried that juggling act of doing a million different things and while I managed it for a while I burnt out and just don’t want to go down that road again.
Now with all that said there is some validity to what people say so maybe I should try to “figure it out”.
A blog post I re-read today by Chris Guillebeau has helped me put some of those negative thoughts about following my dream rather than my skill, back down where they belong. There is no room for doubt.
Today I will focus on building success….you do the same!
Laina

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I’m referring to the take care of yourself statement I made yesterday. I mean I started my day out to you all saying how that was something you had to first and foremost and yet after about 5 minutes I threw that out the window and started doing for someone else. I supposed I could go on about how altruistic that is and I am such a good person. But the fact is that I’m not. Usually I think “what’s in it for me” and the fact that at this moment in time it would be a big fat ZERO has me pondering.

While I’m thinking about that dilemma I do want to share with you my moderately successful start with book sales. I have been selling a lot out of the back of my car which is kind of fun and a few over the internet. I thought the Kindle would be selling a little more but I prefer actual books so maybe other folks do too?

Are you struggling with what you are doing versus what you want to do? I would love to hear about it.
Laina

PS don’t forget MS awareness week starts next week!

Come to the release for Stilettos & Scoundrels at the Rainmakers Main Event. 20% of all proceeds from this event will go to the Indiana MS Society. The will be a member of the Indiana MS Society in attendance to answer any questions as we get close to the kick off of MS Awareness week March 8th.

If you can’t make it there will be other events or buy the book online at www.lainamolaski.com. Also available on Kindle. 20% of all online purchases prior to March 1st will benefit MS.

Today has been great. Well except I didn’t get as much work done as I should have today but the night is young. I am writing this post from Lindsay Manfredi’s new Mac book and I really am loving this keyboard. It’s backlit and just feels nice. The computer is thin and light. I may become a convert to Apple.

Anyways, today I was supposed to finish the edits to my business book but I have so much on my mind. Have a job offer on the table that to be honest is not something I would normally consider as it’s being someones assistant. However, this is a unique situation and I not only think I could really help this business grow but it’s a very productive place for me to work. It will be a switch, as I am using to having an assistant not being one, and I really don’t like being told what to do. But all that aside…..I’m really considering it. In a crazy way I could call it an investment in my future or conversely a huge waste of my time and effort.

The person I would be working for knows how lucky he would be to have a PhD. and all around fabulous chick like me. One main drawback is I always say don’t work for friends and we are friends. I would hate for something to ruin that.

What to do…what to do.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!!!

Laina

Wasn’t that a song from the early 90′s? The phrase was stuck in my head this morning. I have decided that this blog needs to be a form of therapy. Considering I get it hosted for free (thanks Wiredground) and I sort of have my own personal web dude with wicked programming skills (thanks Chris) it costs me nothing. Nothing is much less than the $85 an hour I pay my therapist. And those who know me might say I am not a good poster child for her as I seem to just as crazy now as when I started:)

All kidding aside my goal for the last year, or more, was to blog on this site daily (hasn’t happened), get my fiction book published (it’s being released March 2nd, 2010) and actually sell enough to keep me afloat (I have sold 2 copies), and pursue personal happiness (and that sure as hell hasn’t happened). However, I have been rather a stick in the mud. We all know that saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results. I know that and fully admit I must be insane.

So I decided baby steps. I will post daily on this blog even if it is one sentence. It’s all about building a habit. Anyone want to take that challenge with me and commit to the daily pontification of all our nuggets of wisdom?

As my count down to MS week staring on March 8th I will be posting links and information I hope you will find informational.

Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week March 8th-14th 2010

Have a great day!!!!
Laina