Have you ever thought, OH MY GOD I want to do that?
I want to travel the world.
I want to open my own business.
I want to change careers.
But then you say, or think to yourself, immediately. I can’t.
I can’t because…
I don’t have the money.
I don’t have the time.
I don’t have the skills.
I don’t have the ability.
I know I’ve told myself all those excuses at one time or another along with millions more. Then when I send myself in a spiral of self-doubt, I remember something my dad would say anytime I said “I can’t” when I was a kid. When I felt I couldn’t do something and got discouraged.
He said, have you tried? Calm yet forceful he would say those 3 little words, and it would go a long way to changing my mindset.
At the time, it inspired as much eye rolling and me thinking he didn’t at all understand the struggles of a kid, as it did to propel me to try. It would make me so mad that he thought it was so simple when it was not at all simple. At least not in my young brain.
Though I did always end up trying, when he was right there telling me to give it a go, how was I supposed to sit there and say I can’t.
Plus, I didn’t want to disappoint him by not trying. Not that he would have been disappointed that’s not why he said what he did. He didn’t want me to disappoint myself and hold back from the greatness he knew I was capable of achieving.
The funny thing about parental advice…….it’s so often right. Oh how hard that is to admit even though now I’m adult.
I repeat this phrase I learned from my dad often to my kids who have about the same response as I did. But also as I did more often than not, they try and more often than not are surprised with the result.
Think about it what’s the worst that can happen if you try something you’re not so sure about?
So what. Think of all the amazing things that came from failing. Read this article and see how Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln, and Oprah, just to name a few, failed at first but yet went on to greatness.
You too can fail and go on to greatness, so what’s stopping you?
Google can tell you a lot, but it can’t predict the future. You will not know for sure that you will fail until you TRY. To defeat yourself before you’ve even given an attempt isn’t being the best version of you and it isn’t the best pattern of behavior.
You’re better than that.
My father’s lesson really stuck with me. I say it to myself all the time as an adult (even though I’ll be the first to admit I don’t always listen to myself). I do realize it’s a bit ridiculous that after over 40+ years, I’m still having the same internal conversations. You’d think I’d learn.
Lately, it’s been at boot camp. Sometimes that evil trainer, Jessica (who is not at all evil and is pretty awesome – if you’re in central Indiana check her out) wants us to do exercises that I think no way no freaking way. I can’t do that. Then that little voice in my head says, “have you tried.” So I force myself to do it, and while I might feel like I’m going to die at the moment, I don’t die (she so far hasn’t killed anyone with her workouts though I swear it’s been close a few times). A few hours later, I feel awesome for my accomplishment and wonder why I doubted myself in the first place.
Until the next morning, when the doubts creep in all over again.
I’ve done the same thing with my fiction writing. I’ve published 25 books over the last 10 years and yet every single time I’m writing one I think; this is crap. I should throw it out and start over. No one will want to read this.
Then I publish, and it sells, and I get excited and wonder why I doubted myself. Then one day I might have a bad sales day, and what do you think happens?
Yep, I start doubting myself all over again.
I even experienced the same fears about my second marriage. When my current husband and I decided to get married, we were both scared. Who wouldn’t be? I had failed, as had he, the first time around. If we couldn’t do it the first time what in the world made either of us think we could do it the second time around.
This decision was even harder because I HAD tried and failed, but what was the worst that could happen? We divorce? Yep. That would suck but wouldn’t it be better to try then not to try and wonder if I’d thrown away my chance at happiness?
Now that I’m 3 years in and happy, I can say absolutely it was worth the risk. And truth be told I’d rather be in pain from trying than in pain from not.
So what are you not trying? What’s stopping you? What’s the worst that could happen?
There is nothing you can’t do.
And even if you fall short unless you have a crystal ball, you aren’t going to know that UNTIL you try. Sitting on the sidelines isn’t doing you any good.
It’s easy for me to sit here and tell you all the reasons why you should try.
Why you should take that leap of faith.
Why you shouldn’t give in to your fear and that you CAN conquer the world.
It’s much harder to act on it.
My challenge to you this week is this. I want you to do something that scares you. I don’t mean pet a spider or anything (can you even do that) but something you’ve wanted to do but haven’t because you’re afraid.
Push through your fear, and do it. If it can’t be done this week, start the planning on getting it done. Tell me in the comments what your small challenge is.
Put it out there and be proud.
You’re fabulous, and you CAN do anything!